{"id":300585,"date":"1975-01-01T00:00:10","date_gmt":"1974-12-31T23:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/dbnl\/c-buddinghin-memoriam-e-du-perron\/"},"modified":"2021-06-04T14:12:45","modified_gmt":"2021-06-04T13:12:45","slug":"c-buddinghin-memoriam-e-du-perron","status":"publish","type":"dbnl","link":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/c-buddinghin-memoriam-e-du-perron\/","title":{"rendered":"C. Buddingh’\r\n\r\nIn memoriam E.du Perron"},"content":{"rendered":"
\r\n\r\n <\/interp><\/interp>
[p. 93]<\/div>\r\n<\/a>\r\n

\r\nC. Buddingh’<\/i>\r\n\r\n
\r\nIn memoriam E.du Perron<\/h3>\r\n\r\n
\r\nvoor Bep<\/i>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\r\n
\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Beste Eddy, zal ik maar zeggen: tenslotte was je vrouw<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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drie jaar lang mijn collega op het Instituut,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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wij hebben elkaar net gemist, dat wil zeggen: ik<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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heb jou net gemist: toen ik elk woord van jou driftig verslond<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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wist jij niet van mijn bestaan – en als ik je in die tijd<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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mocht hebben ontmoet, zou er van een gesprek<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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toch geen sprake zijn geweest: had ik enkel op alles<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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wat je zei ja en amen geknikt,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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nu ja: misschien had ik even gepreveld<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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dat ik de surrealisten toch ook wel erg goed vond,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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maar daarbij zou het zijn gebleven, verder was je<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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simpelweg mijn orakel.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ik heb me nooit afgevraagd waarom: het leek zo vanzelfsprekend,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en dat was het ook, waarschijnlijk: waar jij voor stond<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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was alles wat ik in mijn eigen omgeving miste:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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sarcastisch elan en cosmopolitisch vuur,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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– wat schudde je Holland keer op keer heerlijk door elkaar! –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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eruditie, oneerbiedigheid, ontnuchteringsdrift<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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– geen steen van Costersloot bleef op de andere. –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Maar wat me nog het allerdiepst trof<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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was die regel: \u2018Hij had zich graag verdronken<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in de rivier, maar hij had geen rivier.\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Veel van wat ik later dacht, voelde en schreef<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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is daar aan ontsproten.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>
[p. 94]<\/div>
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Jij hebt me, boven alles, laten zien<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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wat echt in me was en wat aangeleerd pathos.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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O, ‘t is niet van de ene dag op de andere gegaan:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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dikwijls bleek ik weer recidivist: ‘t is ook niet eenvoudig<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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om botweg een mes te halen door alles wat zo<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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sonoor en semi-diepzinnig klinkt.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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En toen het mij lukte, was jij allang dood,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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zelfde ziekte als waar mijn vader aan stierf<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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(je zou haast geneigd zijn er iets symbolisch<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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achter te zoeken). En zo heb ik ook nooit maar \u00e9\u00e9n woord<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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terug kunnen zeggen – maar ach, welke schrijver<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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kent ooit al zijn zoons?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Je vriend Bloem schreef in misschien wel zijn mooiste gedicht<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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– dat jij nooit las – \u2018Na de bevrijding\u2019: \u2018Niet \u00e9\u00e9n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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van de ongeborenen zal de vrijheid ooit<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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zoo beseffen,\u2019 en niet \u00e9\u00e9n die de jaren voor ’40<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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niet heeft meegemaakt, zal ooit beseffen wat jij<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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voor tientallen als ik was toen hebt betekend:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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een – en word ik nu toch niet weer even pathetisch? –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\r\n
strookje ongekend fel-blauwe lucht<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\r\n
tussen al die grauwe, laaghangende wolken:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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want o, mijn God, voor de oorlog kon het hier<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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inderdaad nog een land zijn van mest en mist<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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waar je in dreigde te verstikken.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>
[p. 95]<\/div>
\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Daarom is het, Eddy, ook volmaakt onbelangrijk of jij<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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nu wel net zo’n groot schrijver was als Malraux<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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(in zijn eigen land door sommigen ook al weer te licht bevonden,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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of te zwaar, of te dun, of te dik) – alleen frikken maken zich<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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druk om dat soort zaken. Ik denk wel eens: als we elkaar nu<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
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konden spreken, misschien dat we binnen ‘t kwartier<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
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slaande ruzie hadden, of jij, koel-ironisch,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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de deur weer voor me openhield.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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En wat dan nog, Eddy: jij had mij toch ook niet<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
hoeven bedanken omdat ik in jou alles vond wat \u2018k toen zocht?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\r\n
‘k Weet alleen: een mens ontmoet in zijn leven<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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maar \u00e9\u00e9n Du Perron.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>
\n

Over dit hoofdstuk\/artikel<\/h3>\n

C. Buddingh’<\/a><\/p>\n

over E. du Perron<\/a><\/p>\n
\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[p. 93] C. Buddingh’ In memoriam E.du Perron voor Bep \u00a0 Beste Eddy, zal ik maar zeggen: tenslotte was je vrouw \u00a0 drie jaar lang mijn collega op het Instituut, \u00a0 wij hebben elkaar net gemist, dat wil zeggen: ik \u00a0 heb jou net gemist: toen ik elk woord van jou driftig verslond \u00a0 wist… Lees verder <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","class_list":["post-300585","dbnl","type-dbnl","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nC. Buddingh' In memoriam E.du Perron · Uitgeverij Van Oorschot<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/c-buddinghin-memoriam-e-du-perron\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"C. 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