{"id":300935,"date":"1978-01-01T00:00:47","date_gmt":"1977-12-31T23:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/dbnl\/j-eijkelboomzwarte-sonnetten\/"},"modified":"2021-06-04T14:18:11","modified_gmt":"2021-06-04T13:18:11","slug":"j-eijkelboomzwarte-sonnetten","status":"publish","type":"dbnl","link":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/j-eijkelboomzwarte-sonnetten\/","title":{"rendered":"J. Eijkelboom\r\nZwarte sonnetten"},"content":{"rendered":"
\r\n\r\n <\/interp>
[p. 394]<\/div>\r\n<\/a>\r\n

\r\nJ. Eijkelboom<\/i>\r\n\r\n
Zwarte sonnetten<\/h3>\r\n\r\n
\r\n\r\n
\r\nEen schilder<\/i>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Op dijkjes langs de balkegaten<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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stonden wij stil te schetsen in de kou,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en dan maar over kunst en toekomst praten<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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als jij in elk geval een schilder wezen zou.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Ik wist nou nooit eens wat ik worden wou<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en kon mezelf soms om die vaagheid haten.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Maar onder mijn bewondering voor jou<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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school toch d\u00e9dain voor missers en hiaten<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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bij iemand die te weinig boeken las.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Jij slikte dankbaar, of het manna was,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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al wat ik je vertelde over morgen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en over wat er vroeger is geweest.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Je schildert nu decors in Avereest,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in godsdienstwaan gekerkerd, of geborgen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 395]<\/div>\r\n
\r\n\r\n
\r\nEgidius<\/i>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ik zag je nooit, de laatste jaren.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Jij was in wetenschap verdiept,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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het kunst- en vliegwerk dat je schiep,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en ik in kranten en in jonge klare.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Toch was je bij me als ik riep,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en soms vanzelf. Niet te bedaren<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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was ons plezier wanneer de zware<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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ernst der anderen werd uitgesliept.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Maar nu je dood bent mis ik je, altijd.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Misschien omdat de moog’lijkheid<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
jou ooit terug te zien ontbreekt.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Misschien omdat ik ‘s nachts soms weet<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
dat je jezelf niet had vermoord<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
als ik je angst had aangehoord.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 396]<\/div>\r\n
\r\n\r\n
\r\nAchteraf<\/i>\r\n\r\n
1<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Met moeite weet ik nog<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
dat ik je vreselijk kon haten<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
als ik je knoken hoorde kraken<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
op je te punctuele tocht<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
naar bed, en hoe ik vocht<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
om zelf maar niet in slaap te raken,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
want wat ik van mezelf niet mocht<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
was alles wat jij niet kon laten:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
de stipte plicht, het strikt geloof.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Hoewel ik toch mijn hoofd meeboog<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
voordat wij onze speklap aten,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
want grieven wilde ik je niet.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Maar ik kon niet meer met je praten,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
ik vreemdeling, die van je hield.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 397]<\/div>\r\n
\r\n\r\n
2<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Toen werd je ziek op gruwelijke wijze.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Geliefden sprak je toe op barse toon.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ik was degeen die je weer kalm kon krijgen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Ik werd de vader, jij de zoon.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Nog later lag je hulpeloos te hijgen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
door buizen in je strottehoofd.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Je kon me met geen woord bereiken,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
al wou je wel: je mond bewoog.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Pas later durfde ik beseffen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
dat je me over sterven sprak,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
en of ik dat niet kon beletten.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Maar toen dan toch de dood aanbrak<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
was je opeens zo indrukwekkend<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
als een Romein, uit steen gehakt.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div><\/div>
\n

Over dit hoofdstuk\/artikel<\/h3>\n

Jan Eijkelboom<\/a><\/p>\n
\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[p. 394] J. Eijkelboom Zwarte sonnetten Een schilder \u00a0 Op dijkjes langs de balkegaten \u00a0 stonden wij stil te schetsen in de kou, \u00a0 en dan maar over kunst en toekomst praten \u00a0 als jij in elk geval een schilder wezen zou. \u00a0 Ik wist nou nooit eens wat ik worden wou \u00a0 en kon… Lees verder <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","class_list":["post-300935","dbnl","type-dbnl","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nJ. Eijkelboom Zwarte sonnetten · Uitgeverij Van Oorschot<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/j-eijkelboomzwarte-sonnetten\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"J. 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