{"id":301732,"date":"1986-01-01T00:00:45","date_gmt":"1985-12-31T23:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/dbnl\/k-ruysgedicht\/"},"modified":"2021-06-04T15:07:27","modified_gmt":"2021-06-04T14:07:27","slug":"k-ruysgedicht","status":"publish","type":"dbnl","link":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/k-ruysgedicht\/","title":{"rendered":"K. Ruys\r\n\r\nGedicht"},"content":{"rendered":"
\r\n\r\n <\/interp>
[p. 185]<\/div>\r\n<\/a>\r\n

\r\nK. Ruys<\/i>\r\n\r\n
\r\nGedicht<\/h3>\r\n\r\n

Kamikaze<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Mij is geen God gegeven<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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– geen huis waar dag en nacht<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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het haardvuur brandt, waar blinden<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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voor de ramen zijn geslagen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en hoog boven de schoorsteen stil<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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een spijker op het antwoord staat.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Te vondeling gelegd<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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voor de verschijnselen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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ben ik zelf op zoek gegaan,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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opzij voor elke band<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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die werkelijk verstaan belemmerde.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Als een piloot trok ik<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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naar boven, zag vissen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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in beken in meren in<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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streken verdwijnen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en merkte hoe de vaart<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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mijn laatste zekerheden brak.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ik ging, dacht ik, de dingen zien<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zoals ze wezenlijk waren.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Het leek eenvoudig zelfs,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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een zaak van rangschikken<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>
[p. 186]<\/div>
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en vertalen, waarna de waarheid zich<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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vanzelf in God wel openbaren zou.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Vol hoop zag ik de aarde aan,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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de landen die er niet meer waren,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en, vager al dan op de kaart,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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de eilanden die overbleven.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ik noteerde met een goede pen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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de dingen die ik zag. Daarna<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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werd ‘t wat lastiger: de reden<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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te verzinnen, waarom een ding<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zo heet.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Als eerste las ik: \u2018zee\u2019, en keek,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en las het nog een keer,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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maar overeenkomst vond ik niet.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u2018Zee\u2019: wat bedoelde men<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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daar eigenlijk mee?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ik koncentreerde me opnieuw, en<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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– Hee… Ging daar geen vaartuig om?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ik dacht dat ik een hand zag zwaaien…<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ach nee, hoe kan ik dat nu zien?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Wat heb ik trouwens aan details? –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>
[p. 187]<\/div>
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Toen echter merkte ik<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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hoe snel mijn zicht verslechterde:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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een wolk dekte de aarde toe<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en scheidde als een slotgordijn<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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mijn wereld van mij af.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ik schrok en wilde terug,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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maar niets hield mij meer tegen;<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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hoger, steeds hoger zweefde ik,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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tot op een stilstaand ogenblik<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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planeet aarde – stip – verdween.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Toen stortte zoveel ruimte op me neer<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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dat me geen ruimte overbleef;<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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alsof een kogel dwars<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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door het heelal geschoten was,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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dat morsdood bovenop me dook.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Hier was geen sprake meer.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Verzwegen als een vreemdeling<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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kwam ik tot plotseling besef:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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mijn doorgang tot de dingen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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wordt door begrip versperd.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>
[p. 188]<\/div>
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Ik wist dat ik verloren had<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en scheurde als een dwaas<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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de lijst met namen door<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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– Hoe kon in woorden ook<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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een werkelijke God bestaan? –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en dacht: misschien is dit bedoeling,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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misschien wacht hier genade mij,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en zal ik, diep verscholen,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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nooit meer vrij,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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weer \u00e9\u00e9n zijn met de dingen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ik hield mijn adem in,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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maar nergens anders dan in mij<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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weerklonk aanwezigheid.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Verwondering sloeg om in angst:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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voorgoed in denkbaarheid gevangen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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ben ik verbannen naar mijn dood,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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de laatste schoot die slechts<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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onmerkbaar voor me wijken zal.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>
\n

Over het gehele werk<\/h3>\n

over Domenico Scarlatti<\/a><\/p>\n

Over dit hoofdstuk\/artikel<\/h3>\n

Kees Ruys<\/a><\/p>\n
\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[p. 185] K. Ruys Gedicht Kamikaze \u00a0 Mij is geen God gegeven \u00a0 – geen huis waar dag en nacht \u00a0 het haardvuur brandt, waar blinden \u00a0 voor de ramen zijn geslagen \u00a0 en hoog boven de schoorsteen stil \u00a0 een spijker op het antwoord staat. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Te vondeling gelegd \u00a0 voor de… Lees verder <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","class_list":["post-301732","dbnl","type-dbnl","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nK. Ruys Gedicht · Uitgeverij Van Oorschot<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/k-ruysgedicht\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"K. 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