{"id":302327,"date":"1992-01-01T00:00:18","date_gmt":"1991-12-31T23:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/dbnl\/j-bernlef-2\/"},"modified":"2021-06-04T15:42:09","modified_gmt":"2021-06-04T14:42:09","slug":"j-bernlef-2","status":"publish","type":"dbnl","link":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/j-bernlef-2\/","title":{"rendered":"J. Bernlef"},"content":{"rendered":"
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[p. 116]<\/div>\r\n<\/a>\r\n

\r\nJ. Bernlef<\/i>\r\n<\/h3>\r\n\r\n

Cirkel<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Alvorens de cirkel te sluiten<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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keek hij nog \u00e9\u00e9n keer om zich heen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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zag hoe de meeuw in de gevel verdween<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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stof het uitzicht smoorde<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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met een stormgordijn, de laatste steen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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zich opmaakte om te verdrinken.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Onnavolgbaar ogenblik<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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waarin sterren hem te binnen schoten<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en de uitgesleten drempel vonkte onder<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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zijn allereerste stap: hij was alleen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en de ontsluiting vond plaats. De hand<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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van de uitgedreven geliefde cirkelde<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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boven het pasgeboren lijk. Hij was gesloten.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
[p. 117]<\/div>\r\n

Leegwater<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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I<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Scheef in de wind hing hij<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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onverbiddelijk wit<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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boven de gelinieerde weilanden<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Hij vuurde de roeiers aan<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zich van de zee af te keren<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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de steven naar het zenith te richten<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Geen respijt voor landkaarten!<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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routebeschrijvingen!<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Leeg maalde hij het water<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Leeg<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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II<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Toen hij ‘t wist kwam tijd<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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rottend in zijn lichaam boven<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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zo verijdelend al verder denken<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Want dat is angst: alleen maar lichaam zijn<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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waarin verbindingen verbroken worden en<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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dolgeworden cellen je alle hoeken laten zien<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>
[p. 118]<\/div>
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Er niet meer zijn is alleen maar een gedachte<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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de pijn bewijst het tegendeel: je bent<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zoals je nooit was en nooit zult zijn.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ik schrijf je tegemoet, armzaliger kan ‘t niet<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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woorden slaan lek in de rivier die<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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jou nu voortsleurt naar het einde.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ook in mij spreken stemmen. Ook ik<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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denk net als iedere regisseur aan<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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een voldragen slot en hoor de echo in de verte.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Niemand kan ons uit handen nemen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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het vruchtgebruik laat je voortijdig los<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in de vaargeul van gedichten.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n
[p. 119]<\/div>\r\n

Hazepad<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Het zijden overhemd zakt door het geraamte<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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het sjaaltje vat vlam<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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zijn lach gist na op zijn lippen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Nu wordt hij ge\u00efntoneerd, niet de vleugel.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Wie verliet daar zo schielings de woning<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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zonder om te kijken naar het kind<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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dat de man nazwaait die het werd?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Waarom kiest iemand voor vernietiging?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Zonder begeleiding koos hij<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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voor een andere toestand:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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het hazepad der extaze.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n
[p. 120]<\/div>\r\n

Veer tje<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Zo werd hij gevonden, onder de wegen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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vergroeid met de wortels van een boom<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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akkervoren in zijn huid geploegd<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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En nog drukt hij uit met zijn vingerkootjes<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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zijn holle schedel beschermend: zo<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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had ik ‘t musseveertje lief.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n
[p. 121]<\/div>\r\n

Ziekenzaal<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Het wordt nacht. Hij was piloot.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Uit een trechter druppelen woorden.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Schietstoel. Parachute. De naam van een vrouw.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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De jongen in het bed ernaast richt zich op en luistert<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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beantwoordt het ijlen: \u2018Ze is er,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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blijft bij je, laatje niet gaan.\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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De jongen denkt aan zijn vriendin. Hoe zij<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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temidden van snippers en kadopapier<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in snikken uitbarstte: \u2018Nu ben ik 21.\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Het hijgen. Iedereen wil leven, tegen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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de klippen op waar de piloot zich traag<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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te pletter vliegt onder het laken.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n
[p. 122]<\/div>\r\n

o-o-o<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Iemand schrijft daarbinnen op het zwarte bord<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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raakt je zenuwstelsel en<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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verbindt je met de pijncentrale<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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T. als een stier in Spanje geveld (ademt nog wel)<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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S. thuis bezig met het bouwen van een Berlijnse muur<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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D.’s skelet oplossend in het duister<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Wat je zou willen gebeurt niet<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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(de satelliet die ons allen verbindt)<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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ieder lot cirkelt losgeslagen in de ruimte.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Je denkt aan het kind dat o-o-o draaide<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in de hoop zo haar dode opa….<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Iemand daarbinnen drijft het krijtje<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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piepend en schurend over het bord.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n
[p. 123]<\/div>\r\n

Yves Tanguy<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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1<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Onderwater, temidden van zwevende formuleringen, transparante<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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vormen, word je zelf wars van vorm, betreedt het universum<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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van je op handen zijnde verdwijning.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Bestudeer de elegante dans van de pantoffeldiertjes, het immense<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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telefoonnet van tastende tentakels en dendrieten. Je bent binnen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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je eigen lichaam beland. De elegantie van de ruimte<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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die zwijgt in alle talen. Het eiland met de boom<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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van je naam raakt overspoeld. Je zingt rond. Gewiegd word je<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in deze branding van organen, springend van golfkop naar golfkop,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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tot op het strand (waar je ligt als de versteende verschijning van jezelf).<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 124]<\/div>\r\n
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2<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Het lichaam heeft zich teruggetrokken. Drooggevallen kun je<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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niet anders dan weer gaan spreken. Over de standbeelden van<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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wildemanshout, de totempalen van blaaswier, het vergiftigde<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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spel van zeesterren.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Wat voor je ligt is een witte verlaten vlakte met in de verte,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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als een herinnering, het geluid van de golfslag dat je hand in<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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beweging zet, het woord schrijft dat in twee letters heel je heimwee<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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en huiver bevat. Een kleine steen rondrollend<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in je mond. Een eiland met in de top van de enige boom jij,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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turend in de verte, fervent wenkend naar iets.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>
\n

Over dit hoofdstuk\/artikel<\/h3>\n

J. Bernlef<\/a><\/p>\n
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[p. 116] J. Bernlef Cirkel \u00a0 Alvorens de cirkel te sluiten \u00a0 keek hij nog \u00e9\u00e9n keer om zich heen \u00a0 zag hoe de meeuw in de gevel verdween \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 stof het uitzicht smoorde \u00a0 met een stormgordijn, de laatste steen \u00a0 zich opmaakte om te verdrinken. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Onnavolgbaar ogenblik \u00a0… Lees verder <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","class_list":["post-302327","dbnl","type-dbnl","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nJ. Bernlef · Uitgeverij Van Oorschot<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/j-bernlef-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"J. 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