{"id":303013,"date":"1997-01-01T00:00:57","date_gmt":"1996-12-31T23:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/dbnl\/anton-entkootwijkerzand\/"},"modified":"2021-06-04T18:13:38","modified_gmt":"2021-06-04T17:13:38","slug":"anton-entkootwijkerzand","status":"publish","type":"dbnl","link":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/anton-entkootwijkerzand\/","title":{"rendered":"Anton Ent\r\nKootwijkerzand"},"content":{"rendered":"
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[p. 480]<\/div>\r\n <\/interp><\/a>\r\n

\r\nAnton Ent<\/i>\r\n
\r\nKootwijkerzand<\/h3>\r\n\r\n
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I<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Zondagmorgen: het dorp roept kom<\/i>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\r\no kom<\/i> maar ik gehoorzaam niet, kies<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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voor de vlakte met de vliegden en jeneverbes.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Sandalen uit. Ik berg ze bij de veldfles<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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in mijn rugzak waarin Augustinus<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zwijgt tot hij de zoetheid prijzen zal.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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De sterrenhemel ligt nu aan mijn voeten,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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tijd kriebelt tussen mijn tenen en aan de einder<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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wandelt verlies van de naam.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Geen hond te zien. Een zee geribbeld zand.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Wie hier sterft, wordt niet begraven.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Zijn witte knoken zullen blinken in de zon.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Zonder verlies geen vondst. Verleden<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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dringt zich op. Weg jij, roep ik, niet<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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voor niets waarschuwen de borden:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u2018kwaadaardige bron\u2019, \u2018angstig heidendom\u2019,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u2018krachtdadige beuken en eiken\u2019, \u2018een blind<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en heilig geloof in raven en kraaien\u2019.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 481]<\/div>\r\n
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II<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Stilte. Zon. Wind. Azuur. Schelpen. Een wit<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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skeletje aan mijn voet. Dit mysterie: boven<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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mij verdwijnt een gaai en uit een bremstruik<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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stijgt hij op. De kar die noordwaarts trok<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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keert uit het zuiden weer, dat raadsel.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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De stem in de plas juicht als hemels<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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gejubel en de hand die de vaas streelt<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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betast de leegte. Dit geeft verstilde vrede,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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waarvan akte. Nu. Wat ik zie, verontrust niet.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Een stralend bruidspaar waggelt de woestijn<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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in: de wielen van de cr\u00e8me trouwkoets<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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knarsen in het zand. De fotograaf<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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krast bij een gladde boomstam<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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diep in de witte spiegel van de tijd,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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waarna een zwarte rouwkoets keert.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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De paarden zijn bepluimd, de bruid<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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draagt een doodshemd en tressen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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glimmen op het pak van de bruidegom.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 482]<\/div>\r\n
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III<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Wie iets mist, wordt ten einde raad intiem.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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(Lezend en denkend omvatte ik iedere avond<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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het viertal kastanjes van mijn bureau.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Goddelijk lag het in mijn handpalm,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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het gaf mij kracht en geborgenheid.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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E\u00e9n kastanje verdween, zonder ons zusje<\/i>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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riepen de glanzende vruchten, werken wij<\/i>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\r\nmet ons drie\u00ebn niet mee. Maak ons compleet<\/i>.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Moest zoeken, kon schrijven noch denken.)<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ik lees en vind een fontein in het water,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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nederwaarts, de omgekeerde opwelling,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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de vaas van een fortuinlijke glazenier,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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een struik met glazen bladeren, een lichtgloed<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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richting lege godentroon onder de wateren.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ver weg. Niet te vermoeden nabij.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 483]<\/div>\r\n
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IV<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Als agnosticus ren ik weer weg, tot Ostia,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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in Augustinus’ tuin waar moeder Monica<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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aan het venster opstijgt met haar zoon.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\r\nEindelijk stromen wij samen, eindelijk<\/i>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\r\nkijken wij naar dezelfde bloemen, horen<\/i>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\r\ndezelfde vogels, ademen dezelfde lucht<\/i>.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\r\nNoem het geen visioen dat ons verbindt<\/i>.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\r\nDe stilte van de witte wand verdraag<\/i>.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\r\nik niet. In reiniging en zuivering<\/i>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\r\nontstijgen wij wat denk- en zichtbaar is<\/i>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\r\nen smaken wij de zoetheid buiten alles om<\/i>.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\r\nIk geef de witte muren op en sterf bevredigd<\/i>.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Waar is de toegang tot haar koninkrijk?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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De aandrang jehoe jehoe<\/i> over deze vlakte<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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te schreeuwen beheers ik niet.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 484]<\/div>\r\n
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V<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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God nadert zelf. Zij draagt een blauwe plastic<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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regenjas en zwaait een netje groene vruchten.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u2018Ik hoor je wel,\u2019 zegt ze, \u2018tast de natuur<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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niet aan. Zo gilt geen kind van mij.\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Dat klinkt aardig: kind van mij,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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een zwerver wordt een kind genoemd.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ik sta op. Geen zand, maar zee. Zwarte<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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golven rondom mij tot aan de horizon.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Vastgenageld. Stijgen wil ik, stijgen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Hoe hoog? En eenmaal daar, hoe wordt<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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leegte gevuld? Buiten weten van leegte.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Vervulling is vol stromen van. Daar<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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ontbreekt kou, ijzige wind, hartstocht.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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De zon weerspiegelt het kwaad, het weten<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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maakt grappen, de wil lacht hartelijk mee.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Groen en geel voor de ogen, oker het bos,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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de bron met de stem van moeder de vrouw.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Hoe diep? En eenmaal daar, hoe wordt<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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volheid geleegd? Buiten weten van volheid.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ontlediging is vol verlies van. Daar<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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ontbreekt warmte, hete wind, begeerte.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>
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Over het gehele werk<\/h3>\n

Tirade<\/a><\/p>\n

Over dit hoofdstuk\/artikel<\/h3>\n

Anton Ent<\/a><\/p>\n
\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[p. 480] Anton Ent Kootwijkerzand I \u00a0 Zondagmorgen: het dorp roept kom \u00a0 o kom maar ik gehoorzaam niet, kies \u00a0 voor de vlakte met de vliegden en jeneverbes. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Sandalen uit. Ik berg ze bij de veldfles \u00a0 in mijn rugzak waarin Augustinus \u00a0 zwijgt tot hij de zoetheid prijzen zal. \u00a0… Lees verder <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","class_list":["post-303013","dbnl","type-dbnl","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAnton Ent Kootwijkerzand · Uitgeverij Van Oorschot<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/anton-entkootwijkerzand\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Anton Ent Kootwijkerzand · Uitgeverij Van Oorschot\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[p. 480] Anton Ent Kootwijkerzand I \u00a0 Zondagmorgen: het dorp roept kom \u00a0 o kom maar ik gehoorzaam niet, kies \u00a0 voor de vlakte met de vliegden en jeneverbes. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Sandalen uit. 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