{"id":303260,"date":"1999-01-01T00:00:17","date_gmt":"1998-12-31T23:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/dbnl\/marieke-jonkmangedichten-3\/"},"modified":"2021-06-04T18:26:56","modified_gmt":"2021-06-04T17:26:56","slug":"marieke-jonkmangedichten-3","status":"publish","type":"dbnl","link":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/marieke-jonkmangedichten-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Marieke Jonkman\r\nGedichten"},"content":{"rendered":"
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[p. 130]<\/div>\r\n <\/interp><\/a>\r\n

\r\nMarieke Jonkman<\/i>\r\n
\r\nGedichten<\/h3>\r\n\r\n
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Last<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Wie gunt mij, zwaar dragend, geen leven<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en wie accepteert geen dochter van mij?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ben ik dat zelf niet? Hoe haat ik de wijd-<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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beense vrouw waar ik het kind uitpers.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Bloed en gekrijs vullen mijn kamer.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u2018Dat kan jij niet!\u2019 roepen de mannen,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u2018jij was onvruchtbaar.\u2019 Ze hebben gelijk<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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maar ik heb er de ondraaglijke last van.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 131]<\/div>\r\n
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Zielen<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Wie ontfermt zich over mij? Wie schrijft<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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dat mijn hart klopt voor ongeboren zonen?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Zij zullen intreden en jarenlang bidden<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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voor het behoud van deze digitale wereld.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Deze krulharige mannen zullen de media mijden<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en inkeren tot het water onder de plavuizen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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opdat zij, ja wat nu: opdat zij de Heer prijzen?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ze zullen moeder<\/i> roepen en wie zal hen horen?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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In een fatsoenlijk literair tijdschrift verwacht ik<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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barmhartigheid en ontferming, een artikel<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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dat hen godvrezende zielen noemt.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 132]<\/div>\r\n
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Bemoediging<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Angst voor de dood. Mijn<\/i> angst, mijn<\/i> dood.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Zonen en dochters, zij overleven en horen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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hoe hoerig ik was, verslaafd en bezopen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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De waarheid verklaren is uitleggen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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dat oceanen een kust hebben<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en spiegelvloeren overgaan in een zee.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ondanks de twijfel of ik zelf voeden wil,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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herhaal ik hoe stevig mijn borsten zijn.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ik besef dat ik bij de bevalling kan sterven.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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In hun leugenachtige in memoriams zullen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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de mannen juichen: ik heb haar bemoedigd.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 133]<\/div>\r\n
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Raad<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Weer een geboorte. Is er iets nieuws?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Het bericht wordt maanden verzwegen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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hoewel ik verschillende artsen raadpleeg.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ongemotiveerde angsten, mevrouw.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Wat heet normaal? Wat vrees en beven?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Maar de twaalfde arts, die het leven<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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in \u00e9\u00e9n goddelijke ademtocht trekt,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zegt mij rechtstreeks de waarheid:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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dit kind leeft dankzij reflectie.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Begin vanaf nu te zien wie je bent.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 134]<\/div>\r\n
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Traktatie<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ik laat mijn kinderen zwemmen in de zee,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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sta duizend angsten uit, loop heen en weer<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en smeek grondzee\u00ebn afwezig te blijven.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Na afloop lachen ze mij uit, ik doe vrolijk<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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mee: wat zou verloren zijn gegaan als jullie<\/i>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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maar schrik van hun ernstige ogen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\r\nHet liefst bind ik jullie aan een touw<\/i>.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Zo is het goed, ze willen vanavond trakteren.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 135]<\/div>\r\n
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Trots<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u2018’k Wou dat ik je nooit gekregen had.\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Dit zal je uit mijn mond niet horen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Eerder bijt ik mijn tong in stukken<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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dan dat ik jou met deze zin vernietig.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ik blijf je moeder. Kinderen heb je<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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voor altijd. Soms haal ik een kam<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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door je haar en maak ik voor jou<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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een afspraak met de tandarts.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Het was een pijnlijk feest toen je kwam,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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de pijn verdween en het feest bleef.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Blijft. Twijfel daar niet aan. Nooit.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Je hebt een gladde huid, een zwakke tong,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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je bent aanhankelijk en daar ben ik trots op.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Hoor je me?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 136]<\/div>\r\n
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Valse beschuldiging<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Angst voor uniformen, zwarte mannen,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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dode vogels in het riet, auto’s en motoren,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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agenten, nachtbrakers en gladde jongens.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Eens kon een vrouw alleen en onbevreesd<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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door dit landschap lopen en zingen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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korenbloemenblauw korenbloemenblauw.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u2018Ze lokte het uit en werd op haar wenken bediend.\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Hoe red ik mijn kinderen van angst en haat?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 137]<\/div>\r\n
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Liefde<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Zodra ik me naarbinnen vouw<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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ben ik van top tot teen vrouw.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Niemand ziet me naar de ogen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ik boei mijn kinderen met verhalen,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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speel keukenprinses<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en toon het einde van de appelschil.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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We dansen en zingen Middenin de wind<\/i>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\r\ndaar sterft een aardig kind<\/i>.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Wij willen ons verdrinken, zeuren ze.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Wacht tot mamma je voorgaat. Die liefde.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>
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Over het gehele werk<\/h3>\n

Tirade<\/a><\/p>\n

Over dit hoofdstuk\/artikel<\/h3>\n

Anton Ent<\/a><\/p>\n
\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[p. 130] Marieke Jonkman Gedichten Last \u00a0 Wie gunt mij, zwaar dragend, geen leven \u00a0 en wie accepteert geen dochter van mij? \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Ben ik dat zelf niet? Hoe haat ik de wijd- \u00a0 beense vrouw waar ik het kind uitpers. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Bloed en gekrijs vullen mijn kamer. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0… Lees verder <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","class_list":["post-303260","dbnl","type-dbnl","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMarieke Jonkman Gedichten · Uitgeverij Van Oorschot<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/marieke-jonkmangedichten-3\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Marieke Jonkman Gedichten · Uitgeverij Van Oorschot\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[p. 130] Marieke Jonkman Gedichten Last \u00a0 Wie gunt mij, zwaar dragend, geen leven \u00a0 en wie accepteert geen dochter van mij? \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Ben ik dat zelf niet? 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