{"id":304030,"date":"2005-01-01T00:00:48","date_gmt":"2004-12-31T23:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/dbnl\/lloyd-haftgelegenheidsverzen-van-de-academische-functionaris-bij-zijn-ambtsnederlegging\/"},"modified":"2021-06-04T18:41:09","modified_gmt":"2021-06-04T17:41:09","slug":"lloyd-haftgelegenheidsverzen-van-de-academische-functionaris-bij-zijn-ambtsnederlegging","status":"publish","type":"dbnl","link":"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/lloyd-haftgelegenheidsverzen-van-de-academische-functionaris-bij-zijn-ambtsnederlegging\/","title":{"rendered":"Lloyd Haft\r\n\r\nGelegenheidsverzen van de academische functionaris bij zijn ambtsnederlegging"},"content":{"rendered":"
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[p. 24]<\/div>\r\n<\/a>\r\n

\r\nLloyd Haft<\/i>\r\n\r\n
\r\nGelegenheidsverzen van de academische functionaris bij zijn ambtsnederlegging<\/h3>\r\n\r\n

(deel 3)<\/h4>\r\n\r\n

In juli 2004 trad ik uit dienst bij de Leidse universiteit waar ik sinds vele jaren docent Chinese literatuur was geweest. Evenals mijn Oud-Chinese voorgangers vond ik in deze levensverandering aanleiding om een aantal gevoelens in versvorm tot uitdrukking te brengen.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

1. Op een donkere dag bedenk ik hoe een ikoonschilderes mij vertelde dat zij van haar winterdepressie af kwam door het zorgvuldig aanbrengen van gouden stralenkransen om de hoofden van de Zoon en de Moeder Gods<\/i>\r\n<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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Wij noemen het \u00f3nze<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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ziekte, \u2018aandoening\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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als onder onze voeten<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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een oude planeet<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zelf koud ligt,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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koud aandoet,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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onder een nat bladeren-<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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kleed haar ingebleven<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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stralen donker<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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bergt, stil<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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houdt: \u00e1ls deze<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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liggende massa nog spreekt –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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niet tot ons. Onze<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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taal is de andere –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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van bevende rijzen, zich<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zoekend weten.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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[p. 25]<\/div>
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Wij die verklaren<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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de donkere stam<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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voor geschapen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Wij die op een blankgespleten<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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tak een stralend aureool<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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beademen, een babyhoofd<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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beduiden door de sluitende,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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de koude cirkel heen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n

2. Terwijl ik mij afvraag of ik mijn Duits weer zal ophalen \u2018nu ik tijd heb\u2019, denk ik aan mijn allang overleden duitstalige grootmoeder<\/i>\r\n<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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Nu je niet meer boven<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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de gootsteen bukt<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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maar staat,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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(wijder verstaand) –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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moet ik je taal nog leren?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Voor ik je naam wist<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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hield ik al van je.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ein Teller, ein Thaler,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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a ten o’clock scholar.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Voor ik je woorden wist<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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ademden we ze.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Ik leerde ze vertalen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zoals ik ze nu moet leren<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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vergeten. Toen ging het<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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al niet om een bord, een<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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wash-board. Je staat<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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er boven als altijd.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Laat ik de woorden maar<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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achter; niet die paar<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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puntjes boven een a,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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[p. 26]<\/div>
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een o; geen \u00fc;<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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niet dat is de hoogte<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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die ik met jou straks<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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samen kom halen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

Een Engels kinderrijmpje uit Mother Goose<\/i>, dat ik van mijn grootmoeder leerde en vele jaren later weleens opzei als een van mijn studenten te laat op college kwam, luidt:<\/p>\r\n\r\n

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A diller, a dollar,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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a ten o’clock scholar:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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what makes you come so soon?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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You used to come at ten o’clock<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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but now you come at noon.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n

3. Bij het reinigen van de dakgoot zie ik hoe een jonge boom daarin wortel heeft geschoten<\/i>\r\n<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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Boven deze woning<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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waar het hemelwater niet meer<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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valt, maar van nabij<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zich uitlegt<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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langs platte dakranden –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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waar de wind<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zijn last aan stukken en<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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stenen afzet<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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en open verder voert.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Waar de jonge eik<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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zich niet meer in klei,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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schaduw zal kennen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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maar in zonneslib zich<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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vindt. D\u00e1\u00e1r<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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wordt geleefd.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Waar het zaad niet recht:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>
[p. 27]<\/div>
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krom zich opent,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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niet meer wacht<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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op woord, op kracht: zelf<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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kracht, zelf<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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machtig. Waar eindigt<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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worp, start stam?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Altijd in op-<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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br\u00e9ken, b\u00f3ven herstel.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n

4. Als ik midden in de nacht geplast heb, het bed weer in klim en het lampje uitdoe, is het even alsof het aderennet van mijn ogen in zacht rose op de muur verschijnt<\/i>\r\n<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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Waar anders krijgt<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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steen aderen, wordt<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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de muur doorbloed,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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warm? dan<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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hier waar ik in de nacht<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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blijf, even van de slaap<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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weggehouden? Waar ik daags<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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buiten wandel –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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daar is steen genoeg<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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dat steen zal blijven,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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nergens weet<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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van breuk of barst,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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nergens lijn.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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Hier binnen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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in het eeuwig krommende<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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van hersengangen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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die ik even de mijne noem –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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wordt iets van mij<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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tot wat ik noem<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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dit duister licht gebracht<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n
[p. 28]<\/div>\r\n

5. Na mijn pensionering koop ik weer antiquarisch leerboeken Chinees voor beginners uit de tijd dat ik aan mijn studie begon<\/i>\r\n<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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Het eerste woord –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u2018er zijn\u2019 – zal dat ook<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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het laatste zijn?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ga ik nu daarom<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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terug naar wat mijn eigen hand<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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veertig jaar geleden<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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vooruitziend uitschreef?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u2018Yeou\u2019 kon het zijn, maar<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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evengoed \u2018yew\u2019 – allemaal<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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verschillende schrijfwijzen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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van \u00e9\u00e9n klank. Ik loop<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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de lessen weer na:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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alles wat ik nu<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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allang moet kunnen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u2018Op het vliegveld<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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vrienden afhalen.\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u2018Bij de tandarts.\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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E\u00e9n les is er<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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die ik toen al miste: \u2018Waar<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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ligt waarheid?\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Krijg ik d\u00e1\u00e1rvoor<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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nog uren? Wat ik leerde<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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waren woorden. Maar<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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wie gewordt de taal?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Duurt het een mensenleven<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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de \u2018you\u2019 te leren zeggen? Wel al<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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mijn eerste, langere, mijn<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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durende veertig jaren.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n
[p. 29]<\/div>\r\n

(Het woord in het Mandarijn dat \u2018er zijn\u2019 betekent, wordt in de nu gangbare transcriptie \u2018you\u2019 geschreven. In leerboeken van vroeger kon de spelling heel verschillend zijn: in Mandarin Primer<\/i> van Yuen Ren Chao uit 1947 \u2018yeou\u2019, in Spoken Chinese<\/i> van Charles F. Hockett en Chaoying Fang uit 1944 \u2018yew\u2019, etc.)<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n

6. In mijn geboortedorp even op bezoek terug, droomde ik ‘s nachts van een tentoonstelling \u2018gemummificeerde vlinders in de Oudheid\u2019<\/i>\r\n<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ik breng mij<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in herinnering: in de oudheid<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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was de ziel een vlinder,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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had wieken,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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diende bij graven<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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als beeld: hoe wij Daar<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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vliegen en zijn.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Dat wij niet<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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blijven, vast<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in kisten en kennen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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maar vliegende zijn.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Mijn ziel<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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zag in de slaap Daareven<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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vlinders die diep<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u2018in den schoot der aarde\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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wachtten op iets,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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kennen en keien,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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weten en welken<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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te boven. Maar<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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leeft de ziel<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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niet z\u00f3nder<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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vleugels verder?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Waarom zag ik<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in drooms open diepte<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>
[p. 30]<\/div>
\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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hoe vlinders niet meer<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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vlogen maar lagen,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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gebakerd, gewonden<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in de wieken –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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vraag ik aan het donker<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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waarin, als in een bloemenwei,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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als openogig in een schoot<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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ik niet lig: zie.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n

7. In de late avondzon geniet ik in mijn eentje van een wandeling langs de IJssel<\/i>\r\n<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Als de spaken van een wiel<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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dringen van alle kant<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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lichtflitsen in mij –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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samen dit hart in.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Waren mijn borst en mijn<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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schedel niet zacht –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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hoe kwam de avond<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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dan aan een zin?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Was ik niet hier,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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niet te doordringen –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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geen van deze dingen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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die nog iemand wist.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Dan was geen horizon hier,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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niets dan donker water,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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leeg maar voor niemand open,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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vlakte, geen kring.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Fietsten wat mensen langs<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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op een dijk naar donkere<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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huizen af door niets,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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niemand herinnerd.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n
[p. 31]<\/div>\r\n

\r\n8. Tegen zonsondergang loop ik in westelijke richting langs de Koninginnegracht te ‘s Gravenhage<\/i>\r\n<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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‘t Is niet waar dat de zon<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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iedere dag ondergaat.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Zij gaat steeds<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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minder, laat steed<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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meer aan ons over.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Tegen de schemer belichte<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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balustrade; kastanje met nagloeiend<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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blad – wij nemen ze<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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op, noemen ze over.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Wat niet in ons hart<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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aardde, niet onze ogen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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vond – verdween.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Want alleen wie van ons houdt,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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houdt ons. Wat het hart niet<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00e9\u00e9n keer omklemde,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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blijft niet mee.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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W\u00edj blijven – die de straat zullen volgen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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tot de laatste steen van de dag<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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verdonkert, geen schemer meer<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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ebt, niemand meer weet<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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wat de zon was behalve<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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wij, je hand nog<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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gloeiend in de mijne,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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d\u00e1t licht gebleven.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n
[p. 32]<\/div>\r\n

9. Een jonge man in de straat die mij vorig jaar toen ik hem tegenkwam nog \u2018je\u2019 noemde, noemt mij nu \u2018u\u2019<\/i>\r\n<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Maak jij mij<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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met u nu hij?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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die, deze?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Voel ik mij geen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Zo rond als bij \u2018u\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
de lippen – zo is de vorm<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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van een nul. Vind jij<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
mij er een?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Wij liepen een eind samen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in \u00e9\u00e9n woord – bij mij plots<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ge, geworden, nu<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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voorgoed verleden.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n

10. Als ik op een donkere herfstavond plaats neem in de eetzaal van Hotel het Witte Huis te Oegstgeest, schrik ik van de witte weerspiegeling van mijn haren in de ruit<\/i>\r\n<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Ben ik dat?<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u2018Oud mannetje\u2019<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in de taal die ik van ze<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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heb moeten leren,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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de hier om mij heen<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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voorbijgaanden.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u2018Mager\u2019 zullen ze me<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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noemen, \u2018bleek\u2019 –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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als ze me al<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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zien. Ik die mezelf<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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nu vaak tegenkom –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u2018gepensioneerde\u2019, \u2018se-<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>
[p. 33]<\/div>
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\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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nior\u2019. Ik probeer<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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er in te horen,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
steeds dieper het glas<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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in, het beeld<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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achter. Een tikken!<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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Verwarming zeker:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u2018alle CV maakt<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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herrie\u2019. Geluid opeens<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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welkom, klinkt<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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buiten de woorden,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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spreekt nog aan mijn kant<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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tegen de schemer.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n

11. Bij het leeghalen van een bureaula stuit ik onder een stapel oude studenten-administratie op een rozenkrans; weer vind ik het jammer dat het traditionele gebed hierbij eindigt met de naklinkende woorden \u2018het uur van onze dood\u2019<\/i>\r\n<\/h4>\r\n\r\n
\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Wat mij door de vingers<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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glipte – alles<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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kralen. Hout,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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parel, glas –<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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alle zien-, alle<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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tastbare, strelend<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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mijn toch nog warmere<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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huid langs.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
Ik die hier stond<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
te tellen, te spellen:<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
u en u en<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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u – geen ander,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
\r\n
\u00a0<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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altijd die opening,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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mijn lippen rond,<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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mijn adem die eindigt<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\r\n
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altijd voorlopig op amen.<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>
\n

Over dit hoofdstuk\/artikel<\/h3>\n

Lloyd Haft<\/a><\/p>\n
\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[p. 24] Lloyd Haft Gelegenheidsverzen van de academische functionaris bij zijn ambtsnederlegging (deel 3) In juli 2004 trad ik uit dienst bij de Leidse universiteit waar ik sinds vele jaren docent Chinese literatuur was geweest. Evenals mijn Oud-Chinese voorgangers vond ik in deze levensverandering aanleiding om een aantal gevoelens in versvorm tot uitdrukking te brengen…. Lees verder <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","class_list":["post-304030","dbnl","type-dbnl","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nLloyd Haft Gelegenheidsverzen van de academische functionaris bij zijn ambtsnederlegging · Uitgeverij Van Oorschot<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.vanoorschot.nl\/en\/dbnl\/lloyd-haftgelegenheidsverzen-van-de-academische-functionaris-bij-zijn-ambtsnederlegging\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Lloyd Haft Gelegenheidsverzen van de academische functionaris bij zijn ambtsnederlegging · Uitgeverij Van Oorschot\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[p. 24] Lloyd Haft Gelegenheidsverzen van de academische functionaris bij zijn ambtsnederlegging (deel 3) In juli 2004 trad ik uit dienst bij de Leidse universiteit waar ik sinds vele jaren docent Chinese literatuur was geweest. 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